There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
