I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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