Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize