I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
