I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize