The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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