i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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