There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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