Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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