Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
