What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
