you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
