have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
