Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We don't watch enough power rangers
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
