What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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