she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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