Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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