I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
