how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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