i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
