as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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