Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
PANTIES FOUND
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
