gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize