You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
