I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize