Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
