some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
How does it feel to date your dad?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
