Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
