honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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