i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
