scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
