we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
There r osticjed everywhere
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
