I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
