i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
