what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
