His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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