So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize