The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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