Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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