So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
