i would punch a child for taco bell
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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