You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
