Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
