Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
