Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i think my mom watched the whole time
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
