Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
my poor anus
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
