Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
