this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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