I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize