it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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