There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
How's work?
Spinning.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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