My brain says no but my pants say off.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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