honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
