Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize