I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
