if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
