I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
