Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
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