I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
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