Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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