I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Holy shit dude........stairs
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
