I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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