i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
