Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
