I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
did you just send me my own nude
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
