How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize